Hi guys... Still following along as well and enjoying all of everyone's beautiful sharings! Wow! Catherine, Jean-Michel and Tigger I just love the way you all explore and share in such an honest way. Truly amazing to witness your journeys and the individual way that you each express them.

The most recent pics are just gorgeous!!!! Thank you!!

So I am confronting just pure blah feeling as I sit in a sense of being left to fend for myself. Its a sense of having to go on and on and sending out a signal but no one is receiving it. It's like that.. There is no one coming and you have to just get on with it.
My husband plays the part of the one who always has to go somewhere and I feel the urge to blame him for it all, but I know it's here for me... To find the okness inside with apparently being alone with no help and having to "make it"... It's some survival mode or more like going forward all by myself... There is so much anger around it and a deep sense of abandonment...not full acceptance of not having a "team" or a partnership, just me. Just being wih it all and it helps to read all your posts here as I can relate.

At the same time I am experiencing this huge breaking through of the sense of pending physical harm. Today I took my kids to a local water park and went flying head first down a super fast slide aboard a thin blue raft. I felt myself tighten up and hold my breath as I descended and then right in the midst of the tunnel I opened up and there was just an experience and it was pure play and exhilaration. A real opening to the possibilities of physical experience... Just awesome!!