Thank you for this focus, Réka. I resonate with balancing the divine masculine and divine feminine energies within ourselves and have found Open's meditation to be so helpful these past few years in that regard. I feel the truth about transcending the duality of male/female gender. I recently recognized my identification with the oppressed woman in a patriarchal society and resonated with what Open said in regard to expressing the pain without projecting it as paternal. I'm feeling releases and shifts around this.

Fiona, your post stands out for me about remembrances around traumatic birth experiences related to the Intervention. My awareness is increasingly opening up to this trauma. I'm drawn to watching sci-fi shows right now that are helping me connect the dots and uncover the trauma. It feels pretty horrific and scary, but I feel the pull to get into it so I can let it go. Not sure how to truly get into this on my own though so will consider more facilitation coaching.

What the outer mirror is inviting these days is to feel into my pain around feeling abandoned when I was raising my two children with too few family and social supports -- and a husband who was frequently absent due to the nature of his work. Abandonment has been a constant conditioned theme in my life. I have such deep empathy for mothers today who have too much responsibility on their shoulders with intensive social pressure to be the perfect mother almost solely responsible for how their children "turn out". What happened to the village that it takes to raise a child? I often felt so overwhelmed and over-stretched as a working mother of two children. These days the mirror is inviting me to become acutely aware of how I have judged myself as an inadequate mother, and I feel such sorrow and sadness about this despite loving my children to the best of my ability when I was raising them. I recognize how deeply insecure I was/am about my mothering abilities and how I have projected that outwards, particularly when my mother and other family members criticized my mothering ability when my children were young. I was mostly unconscious of my social/family conditioning back then so unconsciously passed it on to my children. I became more aware of my conditioning as they grew older and did my best not to repeat it but with little knowledge and too few skills to truly do so. Looking at the big picture, I accept that this is part of my karmic journey and the karmic journey of my children. But the pain is intense these days.

How deeply my heart goes out to mothers everywhere. That said, I'm aware that it's certainly not easy for fathers either, but it feels like the pressure to raise "well-adjusted" children still falls mostly on the shoulders of mothers. The way out of course is to release judgment about "right" and "wrong" and to view everything we experience as an opportunity to release attachment and transcend beyond. I'm gradually feeling the judgment dissolving.

These song lyrics to the Beatles' Lady Madonna run through me:

"Lady Madonna, children at your feet
Wonder how you manage to make ends meet
Who finds the money? When you pay the rent?
Did you think that money was Heaven sent?
Friday night arrives without a suitcase
Sunday morning creep in like a nun
Monday's child has learned to tie his bootlace
See how they run

Lady Madonna, baby at your breast
Wonder how you manage to feed the rest

See how they run

Lady Madonna, lying on the bed
Listen to the music playing in your head

Tuesday afternoon is never ending
Wednesday morning papers didn't come
Thursday night you stockings needed mending
See how they run

Lady Madonna, children at your feet
Wonder how you manage to make ends meet."

x Catherine