Hello Everyone,

Lately there has been an exploration within me of what feels like the "cast aside mother and child"...it seems this may be the right place to share about that. Within my personal story, my youngest son has been feeling chronic migraines for the last 2 weeks...he has been in incredible pain and as his mother it has been like sitting on top of a never ending fire...in which the only answer is to surrender all need and expectation for answers, for an end to it, for more outside support, for others to understand - it has caused a new level of openness within me to let go of the attachments I have had to all the "my, my, my" related to space and time as it just requires me to be there and respond in the moment.

Through this I have also experienced a deep, raw rage as I confront the ways that the school and the doctors encourage us to just send him to school even though he is in pain - because "he can't keep just missing school and he must learn to "cope"and just keep going". I find very little suport of the fact that perhaps this child is struggling to fit into a system that doesn't serve him ...I have felt so isolated and yearned for the "other mothers" to be here...all the woman of my tribe...the network of strength and wisdom. I yearn so deeply for a time of tribal togetherness...though it seems it's something more for me to transcend and connect to the tribe through the ether. Through this I have felt just how separated the "father" is from the "mother and child". It has been an ongoing pattern within my personal life and surely is reflective of larger story.

I am finding this all also points to my and our as a society's need for the feeling to go away, for it to either be fixed, distracted from or somehow suppressed allowing the machine to just keep going, no matter how it feels. There has been truth in places I have not expected as initially there was a conflict between the ways of the mother and the father (personal - but also collective)...the father in this circumstance allowing the child space to feel his own pain without our constant presence...this has challenged me greatly...though I can also see how this has been my own need for external support and that if handled delicately, the child can attune more to his own inner strength when the mother/father is not constantly providing it from outside.

Qualities of patience and persistence are the keys that are opening doors within myself and those around me to new ways of perceiving ...working WITh the father ...honoring the truth and beauty within that expression. Also, expressing the rage that has arisen as I have felt the mother being suppressed, quieted - and reclaiming and trusting the mother within in balance with the father within....just realizing that the more you feel and follow what feels truly right inside the outside world feels like the most ridiculous set up - and it is not something to put any weight or trust in.

Thank you for the space to share <3