Feeling vulnerable
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Hi all!
I am excited to join in with you all and know it must be incredible to be physically together sharing this exploration! What's defining the circumstances here for me? This thing I want to step around constantly... This thing I want to fix so that I can get to the "real" issue... This thing is anxiety that arises when I am called to speak. It's more the willingness to be seen, self acceptance. Life has encouraged me toward a set of circumstances in which I am feeling incredibly vulnerable in relating to others. Synchronistically tonight I was asked to introduce myself and talk about what I am passionate about - as I went to speak (over Skype to a group of 11 others) the power in my house went out for a moment a powerful reflection of what happens to me in these circumstances. Emotion is flowing strongly and I feel a bit like I am made of balloon material in a world of sharp pins... I don't feel solid. Much of the life circumstances are creating a sense of crisis within me where I feel strong protective instincts that say I can't take one more thing... Or what??
So what is being invited? To let the shit show happen and find who I am can't be destroyed? I see the qualities that are wanting to be freed ... Self acceptance, in some way more solidity and willingness to let myself be seen as I am. I feel I am in a crucible of sorts and life is helping this stuff rise more to the obvious surface.
Much love to you all,
Jen
