Greetings to all tuning in to the New Year Retreat!

You are spot on, Open. That is exactly what is going on. My soul wants to be unleashed and reunited with the Twin Flame (the non-incarnated part of myself, not another human being), the attachments are pulling it back and I’m bleeding energy. There are continuous attempts at derailing the process by the OC acting from the shadows of my own blind spots. It is even producing fake synchronicities! All this can be so painful and confusing sometimes, but I have never been so close, so aware of my own entanglement, of the interference, aware of the true universal love. The yearning for purity and completeness is exceptionally strong and even the pain seems small in comparison.

Yesterday I was grieving all the love that was derailed and consumed. What a sense of loss. It was just so hard for me to receive it, so hard to express it unconditionally. The judgment, the entitlement, the sense of lack found their way to fragment it and off it went! But, this moment is all there is, right? And perhaps it was also false to assume that this love was mine all together. I feel I can now begin to honor the experience as it brought me to where I’m at right now. My ego is tired of fighting and willing to let go more. Not a bad place to be in, my Friends.

I’ve been so fortunate to encounter a beautiful soul that holds a strong mirror for me. Nothing but authentic expression penetrates the channel of our communication. Even the slightest manipulation attempts on my side blow up in my face. The connection activated a yearning for freedom and allowed me to see entanglements in conditioned relationships. My friend and I are separated by thousands of miles and may not see each other again. But all this is not about a relationship. It is about transformation, finding the way back to innocence.

Last night I went for a 2h free dance class and danced out my story: being born, so innocent and pure, allowing the entanglement to confine me, losing myself, pain, awakening, freedom in uninhibited expression, the free flow of love. The last song played last night was … “Return to Innocence”.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rk_sAHh9s08

RETURN TO INNOCENCE
That's not the beginning of the end
That's the return to yourself
The return to innocence.
Don't be afraid to be weak
Don't be too proud to be strong
Just look into your heart my friend
That will be the return to yourself
The return to innocence.
If you want, then start to laugh
If you must, then start to cry
Be yourself don't hide.
Don't care what people say
Just follow your own way
Don't give up and use the chance
To return to innocence.

With love.

M.