Dear Megha,

It touches my heart that the Twin Flame sharing stirred something in you. How powerful of an experience it can be when we encounter someone reflecting who we are! Oh, the wonder and warmth of the experience has such a magical way to color our perception. The sudden ease and depth of intimacy seems to touch something sacred within us. The newfound safety unlocks the long forgotten childhood wounds that want to be held in our presence and yearn to be brought to a resolution. This experience can be a tremendous gift, if we don’t get lost in it.

We’ve been deeply wounded as a society to rely on the romantic love as a way to personal fulfillment. The conditioning presents us with a set of templates and expectations. It’s hard to believe that the beauty we see in the other is our own! I find dealing with someone who is a powerful mirror to be a real art, sort of like a martial art. It can transform us if we keep it free flowing or it can tumble us over rocky shores if we try to suffocate it. Erica just said it so beautifully:

“it's free to dance , move, transform, ignite. In my experience, it's in everything, everywhere.. Omnipotent, Omnipresent.!There was a period of time where I attempted to contain it within a certain person or experience yet what happens when a fire is contained? Eventually it is suffocated.”

I’ve encountered interferences before posting my initial sharing about the torus. I also felt a strong urge to scrub it clean of the OC references. I’m picking up the OC intention to remain hidden. It is so important to talk about the magnitude of this interference. This is why I’d like to share some of my personal experiences on the topic:

THE BUZZ
Open said:
“The problem is, that the frequency feels like love, and is very close to your aligned vibe. So over time, the distorting frequency sinks into your authenticity and buries itself there.”

I have noticed the distorted frequency contains a buzz. There is a distinct manic quality in it. At times it is very tangible and feels like a hyped up nervous system. It does not feel unpleasant, but it eventually drains me from energy and creativity. I’ve recently quit coffee and became more sensitive of the energy tones in my body. Interestingly, as soon as I gained more clarity, my family and friends became very hyper. I just spend more time on my own now and it helps so much normalizing the new perceptions. Perhaps I will get away for a month or so, not sure where or when, but an opportunity will present itself if that is what I'm to do.

THE OC INTERFERENCES
I feel like I’m dealing with a very nimble, but limited predator. Fake synchronicities are another interesting phenomena and I must admit to falling for them once in a while. They’d always appeal to my wishful thinking and are created from a limited pool of possibilities. Most importantly, if I fall for them, the buzz turns on. The real synchronicities contain an element of creativity and a bit of a surprise, the fake ones don’t. If I’m not vigilant and intensely present, the thoughts pop in my head activating the old wounds and attachments, the buzz sneaks back in and I bleed energy again. So I just keep working on the attachments that are revealing themselves and with each act of letting go, I can see the extent I’ve allowed myself to be manipulated and drained.

RELATIONSHIPS
I’ve always needed to be in a relationship because it gave me a sense of being connected. During last year’s Transfiguration course for the first time I felt truly connected to myself. Something began to slowly crumble within my being. I see relationships as fixed templates and I’m finding myself not wanting to be locked in these concepts. I wake up a different person each day. I am flowing, constantly transforming, relating with others. I can relate with some longer and deeper than with others, but I do not wish to put a burden of expectation on anyone by labeling our relating. I’m getting more aware of the attachment to timing, wanting to hold on to beautiful past events, needing to be safe through a fixed connection with another. There is still so much letting go to be done, but I’m slowly healing.

With love,

M.