Redefining Relationships in The Shift: 7 Essential Qualities
Our consciousness is evolving. People are unwinding and breaking free from aeons of constraint. It's a truly wonderful movement to behold. I feel blessed to be here during these times of profound change. But it's a double-edged sword too. In many cases, it's generating untold pressure within families and relationships. It's causing great friction, and at times, even tearing them apart. What is the most effective approach to this unfolding dynamic? I feel strongly in the heart, we need to redefine the very nature of relationships.
Classic Archetypal Relationships
Consider for a moment some of the classic archetypal relationships like marriages, partnerships, parent-child, friends, and work colleagues. These are classic stereotypes that have been fixed quite rigidly in humanity's collective consciousness, cemented by aeons of conditioning.
What do these relationship archetypes do to the soul?
To me, the soul arises from the inner void of pure presence. In enlightened states, the soul is highly spontaneous. It flows like the wind through the trees, and although has consistency, is never completely predictable. It flows according to the myriad of possibilities within our consciousness landscape.
Prior to this state of course, there is the conditioning of the ego to overcome. The ego builds loops of conditioned programming, based on our upbringing, and the dogmatic beliefs within society. Many take on either a controller or victim-type mentality (or a subtle blend of both). Each behaviourism is like a computer program, it has a purpose and a need to run. All it requires is someone to push the buttons. The risk is to end up living in co-dependant emotional and psychological states. But it doesn't have to be like this!
Transform your life in the Shift, with leading-edge spiritual illumination...
Working with the Law of Attraction
Society has inculcated in people fixed ideas and notions about how our relationships with people should be.
These are not just conscious thoughts, however. I'm speaking of an inner consciousness landscape that impacts our lives, which for many, cannot even be seen, touched or even felt. The ego is looking through conditioned veils.
That's why embracing the (authentic!) Law of Attraction is so beneficial to us. We draw to ourselves the mirror: one which not only reflects how we are, but also how we could be. The mirror activates all kinds of inner buttons - like that of blame, for example: "why are you doing this to me?" is the classic, disempowered cry.
What's required actually, and what I've dsicovered, is the need for increased selfishness. But what I mean here is not the selfishness of the ego, which truly does only have its own egoic desires at heart. What I'm speaking of is the selfishness of the Higher Self, which has the liberation and freedom of all souls as its purpose.
If I dare to be me, in any given situation, expressing what I truly feel (in a compassionate way), then what actually happens, is that I'm caringly inviting the other to do the same. The greatest gift I can give to another, is the truth about who I am. It encourages them to discover the truth about themselves too.
I would say this is the first essential realisation, on the journey of evolved relating.
Opening Pandora's Box
It's going to require much more fluidity and space in how we connect with each other. The courage to say: "No, that doesn't serve me. You go ahead. I'm going this way instead." Then to stop projecting at each other because that might trigger some buttons.
If buttons get triggered, then the encouragement is to own them. For these are the touch points of growth. And it's in relationships especially, where they get activated most.
What I've frequently noticed in marriages and partnerships for example, is the challenge of one partner accelerating or having a breakthrough, whilst the other remains temporarily constant. It can place inordinate amounts of stress within a fixed 'relationship'.
If we get up one morning expecting our partner to be exactly how they were yesterday, speaking to them and treating them as some kind of fixed identity that we rotate around, then in effect, a prison cell for consciousness is being created, to either stifle the unfolding soul, or causing it to rebel.
But you can't close the Pandora's box once it's been opened!
And, of course, in being totally authentic, we provide the possibility for others to see their truth too. If we're always living according to their expectations, then the mirror we're supposed to provide is tainted, and so we're actually disempowering them too, because we remove the possibility of an accurate reflection.
I've also experienced the dynamic from the other side. Where I've allowed myself to be seen and defined simply as "Dad". It's come with all kinds of limiting expectations, within a family, that I simply couldn't live up to. Yes, I've felt compassionately responsible. But I find my soul naturally challenges situations where another would become dependent upon me. Not that I haven't naturally supported them, but love does not smother, it empowers and liberates.
If you love someone, set them free!
In one of my three paternal/child relationships, which at the time was challenged in true understanding, we jointly ditched the word "Dad". I encouraged my "son" to call me Open, and to embrace me exactly as he found me, without expectation. Likewise, in myself, I dropped the label of a "son" for him.
Instead, there was an open invitation to experience and honour each other as we presented. As we each showed up.
I can tell you it had a deeply profound effect, like switching from night to day. Any expectations (including karma on his part) positively broke up, and floated away like a helium-filled balloon, with "Dad" the disappearing label. Although we are both very different - in many ways like chalk and cheese - we came to accept each other, exactly as we each were.
By ditching the labels, it took much of the stress out of our relationship, leading to a more harmonious relating experience.
The New Relating
My first marriage ended because of my dramatic awakening through a car crash, which my partner struggled to relate to. My personality changed overnight - I couldn't be so constrained anymore. There was a rightness to our parting - our paths were strongly diverging (it often happens when one awakens and the other doesn't).
So I don't see relationships in the 'till death us do part' manner. I believe we have 'sacred agreements', at a soul level, to work out with one another. Once the lessons have been learned, either the relationship will evolve and grow together, or the path of the souls will part, and each go separate ways to pastures new.
I'm blessed to find myself in a loving relationship once more. But it is entirely different from previously. Each affords and grants the other, the space each soul deserves and yearns for. Each lives their own creativity, with their own harmonies - and interdimensional connections, that are honoured.
Yet when pathways afford the opportunity to come together, then there's total acceptance of the other, with no expectancy of how they should show up. There's absolutely no need for the other to be a particular way, because fulfillment is already attained within. There's no need of an external compliment. Especially when you've found your Twin Flame within.
What it actually means is that each time you come together, you find yourself in a magical exploration of who the other is. You never quite know. Which provides an extraordinary alchemy. It's a new landscape to continually discover.
"Rigid relationships are as redundant as building structures on shifting sand. The sand has no fixed relationship with the sea, rather it relates to the ebb and flow of the waves as and when they choose to kiss the shoreline." Openhand
It means you can truly connect with the other, at a deep soul level. It means you can love them unconditionally, because you don't need them to show up a particular way. Which means you end up loving them more - because it's always in truth.
7 Essential Qualities of Evolved Relating
How might we work to attain evolved relating experiences? Of course it's going to mean we have to work on ourselves.
Here are 7 qualities I've found to create the perfect harmony for such evolved relating:
1) Core splitting honesty: Make no mistake, if we're truly going to commit to the spiritual path, then we will be tested within relationships. Desperately holding things together by belts and braces is just not going to hold. We have to be core splittingly honest with each other. If you truly love someone, do they not deserve to hear the truth from you about how you genuinely feel in any given situation?
2) Compassion: Speaking our truth is fundamentally essential. But that doesn't mean we can't do so gently, and with compassion. Let's create the space for the other to express freely, even if that's dissonant. Compassion means we can allow an alternative truth to express, even, and especially, where we don't feel to go with it. Still, the other person's point of view has validity.
3) Openness: We must become open to the fluid truth of the moment. Being in evolving, close relationships is sometimes just like being caught between the polarity of two magnets. If you hold a rigid position, and you're not in profound truth, it can tear you apart. So we must be open to the tidal flows of feeling and emotion, always looking for the mast of centred openness.
4) Unconditionality: We must learn to adapt to ever changing moods, intuit the relating experience that is currently being called for, and unconditionally give ourselves to that expression. Sometimes your partner maybe a friend, sometimes a colleague or companion, then sometimes they'll be a lover. Sometimes you'll be distant, sometimes close. We're invited to embrace people the way they are, in that moment. And vice versa.
5) Courage and bravery: To be this way is going to take a lot of courage and bravery. Your soul will call you to say, and do, things the effects of which, the ego might fear - "what impact is that going to have?" The ego will be playing the mind games, frequently wondering what the outcome will be. We must have the courage and conviction to confront the ego, always coming from our highest truth, even if that would possibly lead to confrontation or separation.
6) Self completeness: You're in relationship - a relating situation - but it's only truly going to work if you are being whole and complete within the engagement. It's the same when something gets triggered in you. No matter how the other is being, if you get triggered, that's yours to deal with. Instead of rowing with the other, work on the inner tightness and find the higher truth to come from. If the relating experience has a future, the other will be encouraged to evolve too.
7) Empathy, acceptance and understanding: And here's the other side of the self completeness coin. We're not going to have meaningful and fulfilling relationships if we're not fully present and giving within them. An evolved relating experience invites us to unveil ever deeper levels of feeling empathy. The more we can feel the other, the more we feel ourselves, and the more a mutually fulfilling energetic feedback loop is created. Both parties are lifted into a state that is so much more than the separate parts. Empathy, acceptance and understanding is the golden chalice from which both can drink.
Spaces in the togetherness
So redefining our relationships into evolved relating offers enormous potential for evolutionary growth. The expansion causes continual confrontation of society's dogma. It's like being in a caring crucible, where diamonds are forged.
Now, I greatly value and cherish the relating experiences in my life. And I find that by committing to my truth and allowing the other to honour theirs, means that I feel more committed within these engagements rather than less. Paradoxically, the new openness generates greater respect, unconditionality and commitment to one another.
Just as a wheel is defined by the space between the spokes, it's the space within relationships that creates the possibility of alchemical motion.
"Let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together, yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow." Khalil Gibran, The Prophet
Resonate?
If you resonate with the content of this article, and would like to develop truly meaningful relating experiences in your life, then explore the evolutionary work of Openhand:
Bright blessings
<<< Open 💎
Comments
Conscious Relating in The Shift: Ascension Exchanges 1st Mar 🙏
Comment
These are tremendous explorations going on here, around the nature of conscious relating as The Shift beckons us to evolve into greater authenticity.
At the Ascension Exchanges this coming Saturday, it will be the central theme. How are you finding your most important relationships? How might you evolve them into something more fulfilling, more rewarding and more authentically loving?
It promises to be a hot one!
Here's where you can book. But don't delay, they're booking out quickly...
1st Mar: Ascension Exchanges: 1/2 Day Seminar, ZOOM (USA/UK/EU/AFRICA/INDIA)
Spend a low-cost, easy-entry, half-day with Open on Zoom. What's your most pressing issue in the 5D Earth Shift right now? What's the game-changer beingness that wants to activate and shape your new reality? Gain invaluable illumination for your pathway.
One-on-one Exchanges with Open
The calling to emerge
Comment
This exploration feels very poignant for me - it's one I've been working on and is now coming to a peak.
I'm in a relationship with someone who seems to very closely mirror the energy of my twin flame.
My partner is quite bipolar - she has a wonderfully playful, creative and softness to her. On the other hand her inner trauma makes her go through phases of extremely irrational emotive projection. I've been called incompetent when I don't get something as quickly as she does, or compared to other men, or called unattractive. Expectations which I can't meet. And at other times there's a huge appreciation and loving intimacy. There are many beautiful moments of co-creation.
It's clear I manifested this relationship to actualise the realisations I've had since breaking up with the mother of my children 7 years ago. I'm now mostly standing my ground, not letting myself get pulled in. Yet, occasionally I do get pulled in - the barrage of attacks eventually wears me down.
It's feels like I'm on the brink. There's a feeling in me like it's a choice between the relationship and ascension. I sometimes go into fear of the pain it will cause, the sense of loss, or of what it will do to her as a single mother who so easily gets overwhelmed by life. But there's a resolve to keep pushing through, even in the good times.
Right now it's about living life how I feel and being very clear on that, knowing that it will bring out her insecurity - watching if any guilt comes up. Then it's up to her how she responds to it. I trust it will resolve how it's meant to without forcing, but simply by being authentic in every moment. Calling when the dynamic feels limiting or abusive, and also enjoying the more harmonious times. Then having the courage to take the necessary steps when they present themselves.
Change is a coming! It feels bloody scary at times. But it's the only way through.
The Power of Dropping Relationship Labels 👨👩👧
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27/02/2025: Shift Insight with Relationships
I very much welcome the rich and diverse relationship sharings here below. Well done everyone 🙏
It goes without saying, that relationships in the Shift can be our greatest teaching. Because they can be so emotive, demanding and at times, challenging.
Beware especially of the labels we allow to exist in family dynamics. It's often those closest to you, that will unconsciously keep pulling you into the limiting landscape they're all comfortable with, and don't want to challenge.
To be clear, if you're to evolve and grow, you're going to have to challenge these. Especially the judgments people unconsciously project upon you. Even what we might perceive a loving one. Remember, a judgment is when we, or someone else, perceives and projects limitation into a given situation.
I've found it's especially challenging in families, where we get 'comfortable at home'. Then go unconscious. And allow typical conversations to unfold. These are often littered with projections, that weave your consciousness into the limitation. What often happens, is that these fixed neural pathways then reinforce the old you, rather than the one you're seeking to evolve into. These areas then, are especially the ones we need to work hardest of all. And to be the bravest.
I felt to share this song with you, which speaks volumes into what I'm talking about. It's by the artist, James Blunt. Whose clearly been through what I'm sharing here, and what I encourage all to consider...
(one point to watch for though - there's no need to make anyone proud!)
Bright blessings to all - without the labels!
<<< Open 💎
it applies to all interactions
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it seems these principles can be applied to all interactions. Other people, random or personal. The relationship I have with my body. My relationship with the Devas, the sky, the earth, the dragons, the cosmos... How am I interacting? What is it Ivwant and why do I want it? Why do I respond the way I do and most importantly what am I not aware of? Subtle underlying programing, developed, hidden and protected. I got a glimpse of that shadow today. If I have created relationship to rattle the cage, when does that stop? Or is it that I stop perceiving it as rattling? I got a glimpse of the distortion I have hidden. A desire to be a part of something. Longing for support outside of me. The doubt of being able to stand alone again. I realize I can not stand formidable with anything until I can do it on my own without needing something in return. To authentically contribute to the team not be dependant upon it.
It's time to insist on the relationships you deserve 🙌
In reply to it applies to all interactions by Michele.
Comment
These are tremendous explorations and inquiries about relationships going on Michele - clearly you're directly confronting the challenges that need to be processed. It's not about trying to gain some perfection in the engagements. If we're courageous enough to find and honour the question, embrace the grey areas we don't know, but then work into them with vulnerability, then we'll forge a different relationship to the situation, and the people in it.
You said...
If I have created relationship to rattle the cage, when does that stop? Or is it that I stop perceiving it as rattling?
For far too long, many have suppressed and buried the truth about how they feel, due to fear of creating disharmony. Or being cast out. Or that it's not love. These are typical Sirian traits, that have been preyed upon by the Intervention - to keep people limited.
It ends up with relationships that are conditional - "I'll accept you, but only if you're like this. I love you, but only if you don't rock the boat." If you want these kinds of insincere and flawed relationships, then you'll get the outcomes that always bind you into limitation. And you don't get the relationships you derserve or truly love being in.
But what if we dare to speak the truth about how we feel?
What if we dare to be, do, and express, who we truly are?
What if we clearly state the boundaries of what we will or won't accept?
If you dare to continually make this statement about yourself, and require those around you to honour them, then the relationships change. Some people will fall away - which, we have to learn to accept. There's no point retaining these conditional relationships anyway. Others will change how they are with you. And other people will come, who're able to be more authentic with you. Those who'll accept you entirely as you now are.
My biological parents couldn't handle the truth about what I experienced in the car crash that changed my life. In their eyes, I was going crazy. But I wouldn't tolerate anything less than being who I was. It meant we had to withdraw from each other for some time. Until that is, they came to accept me as I was, who I was. It's was quite astounding to witness quite rigid, elderly people, actually changing. They became less judgmental and more accepting. They still maintained their truth, but they allowed the space for mine. They respected me. Thus, the relationships could continue.
In short, you get the relationships your soul deserves, because you've been courageous enough to demand that. And to settle for nothing less.
An example of the approach I'm speaking of is this:
Let's say someone is always projecting at you and getting frustrated with you. And you've grown past the point of tollerating the negative energy. You could make a clear statement: "I don't tolerate people projecting and getting angry with me. I won't get into a row with you. Go away, until you're calm enough to engage in a civil manner." And even if they refuse to leave, you can disengage. It's a powerful way to end all rows. But it does require courage to carry out. Because you can't predict what the other will do. You're stepping into the unknown. But now you're making a clear statement of what is, and is not, acceptable. Now you're defining something about the nature of the relationships you deserve, and want to be in. You're determining that. Insisting on it.
It's about being honest and authentic in who we are. And requiring that from those around us. Being prepared to challenge at the risk of uncomfortable situations.
Now you get the truth. People will respect you. And some will truly come to love you. It's because in defining yourself, and what is acceptable for you, above all, you're expressing genuine love for yourself. And now this manifests as reflections into the outer.
Well wishes
<<< Open 💎
I've never been good at…
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I've never been good at relationships, not surprisingly given my upbringing. But it hits particularly hard when one realizes just how distorted and dysfunctional their needy, demanding and unwanted behaviour is. Last night I dreamed someone came and sat by me on the bus and, uninvited, and started chattering about their problems when I just wanted to enjoy the ride on my own, quietly. Long story short, if people are our mirrors, I was reminded that I do the very same thing to those I see as having something I want and need, like emotional support and validation just to name a couple. Sort of like a cuckoo, a word which is also apropos. Granted this behaviour is a survival mechanism I took on as a child when my needs couldn't be met at home, but it's time for it to stop.
Suddenly I remember all the times in the dreamtime I've sought out someone I wanted to connect with, without first seeing if they wanted the same thing. And those are just the ones I remember. The hubris to decide that 'I want that so I'll just go and take it without consent.', like a parasite. An energy vampire. It's taken me till now to see this. And the added humiliation when even their partners have to come in and block me from being a pest. It's mortifying to realize you're like that. But better late than never, and to see the opportunity, and urgent need, to finally gain control of ones behaviours. Not just when I'm awake, but especially in the dreamtime.
I would be deeply grateful for any insight into getting control of this behaviour, and finally learning to choose myself fully without needing anyone else. Thank you🙏
P.S. I realize after submitting this, that I already have insight into transcending this from the OH work, and thats presence. It also brings to mind when I dabbled in lucid dreaming (I always seem to be dabbling, never really committing) and learned the technique of continuously bringing focus to the moment while reminding oneself that you are awake, and will be aware when you are dreaming. It's how to control myself, remind myself of boundaries when I"m dreaming that will especially need work.
Your experiences of relationship challenges in the Shift?
Comment
25/02/2025: Shift Insight - Evolved Relating
I reworked this article to feature today, about finding crafting evolved relationships in the Shift.
As you go with the new infusing energies of the Shift, how do you find that impacts those around you?
Are you able to bring some along with you? If not, at least how do we best allow compassion and space for each to be who they are?
Included above are what I consider to be, 7 key qualities to work to embody, so as to ensure evolved relatiing experiences. What do you think?
Bright blessings
<<< Open 🙏
relationship change: profound effect of going with the flow
In reply to Your experiences of relationship challenges in the Shift? by Open
Comment
Hi Open,
This post became a bit longer than I thought at first, but it is a good example of how confronting the ego can break through illusions.
Over the past few 8-9 months, people have mainly disappeared from my life, and in all cases this is a good thing. One example of a profound realization:
There was someone I have been friends with for about fifteen years or so. Back in august or september I tried to tell him about my current life, and decided to start with mentioning being in contact with a group based in Glastonbury. This led to an immediate interruption where I found out he has a very colorful opinion about every single person in Glastonbury. He proceeded to advise me to look up the meaning of the word 'suggestion' and referenced a situation wherein I had been systematically supressed by a narcissist for many years. Why? He was sort of mockingly smiling so I suppose he did it to remind me about my inability to make decisions. It would be much better to listen to his advice. He then took a pen and a piece of paper and asked 'what do these people call themselves?' I was absolutely flabbergasted by this entire response and could only manage a confused 'huh?' When he noticed how dazed I was he put the pen and paper away while saying it was a joke. But it clearly wasn't. If I had mentioned Openhand he would have gone to this site, no doubt to stare at me with wide eyes and advice me on how to proceed in the opposite direction.
There are a number of ludicrous elements in this story.
1. The only thing I had said so far was, loosely translated: 'I've been going through a spiritual growth since about a year which has really taken off when I got into contact with a group in Glastonbury, and now...' this is where the interruption took place.
2. The situation with the narcissist had lasted for many years, of which I had experienced every second since it was my life. All his knowledge is entirely contained within the sentence: there was a situation; there was a narcissist. Based entirely on that global description, he concluded to know way more about everything than myself.
3. Just mentioned Glastonbury was all it took for him to take as much distance from my life as possible while immediately attempting to hold me by the hand and lead me away from the bad place I had wandered off to in my child-like naïvity; after all, there had been a situation with a narcissist so clearly I am acting on impulses and am incapable of understanding the basic concepts of decisionmaking.
Until that moment I was certain there was a mutual respect and because I was so taken unaware, I even continued to tell my story as far as I still could. I don't remember exactly what because it was probably the most uncomfortable conversation ever. But the main theme was how we live from the mind while it is about the how and why of energy interaction. I remember how the reaction basically... wasn't. A blank stare and a meaningless 'ok' here and there. On my way home was when it really struck me what happened, the disrespectful treatment made me angry and I knew our lives where no longer aligned in any way.
I did not have any desire to contact him after that and about two months later I get a message asking me to come by again and watch some movies. I said yes because I wanted to feel what had actually changed. The uncomfortable conversation and anything relating to it was not mentioned, in fact, everything pointed towards it simply being brushed off as inconsequential blabber; I got the impression he didn't even remember it. I was there for about three hours and nothing inside me felt like there was anything worthwhile going on. I did not mention it because I felt no need to. I just left earlier than usual.
One month later I get another message. I already knew he was going to move out of his house but it wasn't yet clear where. He now lives one street away from me. News he was very happy about, and all I could think was: 'oh... great' I felt anxiety but also realizes this was the universe confronting me. Am I going to keep on playing pretend because he now lives close by? I couldn't do that. I knew I had to go through this. But how? Well, the mind was forming all these possible constructs but I resolved to just see what would happen. So my response to the message was 'yes, that is indeed very close by.'
Then after he had settled in came the question if I wanted to go to a nearby pub. This was decision time and I meditated for a while before answering. I wasn't going to lie, I wasn't going to apologize (I've always had the habit of starting off these kind of interactions with 'sorry, but...') Why apologize? I always did that, like there is a need to validate my response or seek approval. So the answer came as simple as it was complete and I send back the message 'no, I don't feel to.' That was it. The response that came back was neutrally worded but clearly indicated offense. I thought, well, I just did that, so whatever this leads to is now out of my hands. It felt quite liberating.
Then on 31st of december came the next and so far last message wishing me a good new year and 'urging' me to contact him more often. Actually based on the wording used, subtly commanding may be a better word... which made me remember, this is the same guy that actually talked about suggestion! My response was 'Happy new year too!'
This was, so far, the last time we were in contact with each other. There is no ending. Nothing is concluded. No actions have been taken. It just is as it is. I hardly even think about him anymore. How is this in his viewpoint? I don't care. Will I run into him? I don't care. Where my ego had spend quite some time working out how to tackle this and what to do and say, in the end, it turned out that NOTHING was all it took to achieve NOTHING. It made me realize how these relationship issues are entirely mind-based and how the idea that a conclusion must be reached and events must take place is just made up. It was a profound realization that will certainly help me in any possible future situation of the same kind.
Soaring off,
LtJ
What is intimacy?
In reply to Your experiences of relationship challenges in the Shift? by Open
Comment
This has been an inquiry of mine for the past couple weeks, especially with the Openhand discussions lately around Resurrection and healing the divine masculine and feminine.
For me, I know I tend to keep myself closed off from others. I generally have a feeling that I don't want to be seen. But lately I've been asking myself why I feel this way. Why am I afraid of letting others see me? And what am I afraid of them seeing, exactly? One main thing I'm aware of is a fear that if other people knew how my mind worked, they would think I'm insane. I feel like my mind is a mess of thoughts most of the time, I often struggle to focus on whatever I'm doing, and my emotions can be all over the place. On any given day, it feels like I could be labelled with any number of psychiatric diagnoses.
I especially don't want my husband and son to think I'm an unstable mess, even if I feel that way sometimes. So I tend to keep it to myself. But I wanted to try and face my fears, so I tried talking to my husband about it. This was difficult for me, and when we sat down to talk I said I wanted to talk a bit about why I find it hard to open up sometimes. That was about all I said before he launched into a bunch of his own complaints about our relationship. It seems the powers that be in the ether were not going to make that conversation easy for me.
I was too upset after that to talk much more, but I stuck with it and tried again a few days later. Our conversation went better. My husband's main thought was that opening up to another person is similar to opening up in a spiritual sense to the soul or consciousness. Both of us could relate to that, and I think opening up to the soul mostly feels like a fear of the unknown. If we fully let go of the matrix and what we've known up to this point in our lives, what's actually there?
And maybe that's what my fear of others seeing me is based on - my own fear of looking at myself. I don't know what to do about all that. My husband and I also concluded that we don't really know how to build real intimacy. When you remove all the surface level finger-pointing and go a bit deeper, what's really there? We'll keep looking.
Zoe
Challenging the normalcy of relationship...finding rightness 🌻
In reply to What is intimacy? by Zoe
Comment
Hi Zoe,
I feel for you. I know many are going through similar. I described my predecessor's experiences, Chris, when he awoke in a similar situation.
As he initially worked to emerge at the soul level, the pushback was immense. The external world, and those in it, will often resist, push back, or even fight to keep you quiet in the box. It's because you're expressions challenge the fabric of normalcy they're bound up in. You actually become a threat to the comfortable limitation they're living in. Why? Because they also know that change would be better for them, but are resisting it.
At times, yes, it can feel like you're going a degree crazy, in the face of all of that - where you're feeling the inspiration to be something different, something that is uniquely you. It can quickly feel like overload.
Back then, for Chris, the perfect stranger presented for to unload with (not to unload upon, but with). To express and let it all release. This was immensely helpful. Because it helped him touch the feeling that was uniquely him. Past all the mental constructs about who he was supposed to be. It reveals a profoundly intimate sense of self. It's a feeling of rightness. And when you touch it, you know there's no going back to the way it was.
It sounds like your partner is ready to change also.
If you're brave enough to keep stepping forward, keep inquiring, and challenging to a degree, you may well find that things start to steadily unravel in an unexpected, and very positive, way.
Well wishes
<<< Open 💎
The mirror
In reply to Your experiences of relationship challenges in the Shift? by Open
Comment
Hi Open,
This article is such a reflection of what’s been going on for me in the past days.
After our brief meeting in Glastonbury on Sunday, I found myself feeling awkward and very uncomfortable. On my journey home shortly afterward, I sat with the feelings and held the enquiry, without distraction, for over an hour. It suddenly hit me that it was linked to me and relationships, and although I feel that I don’t want a relationship at this time, there is still some part of me that is seeking something from outside of myself.
You said in your post that we draw mirrors to us, reflecting how we are or how we could be. You reflected to me how I could be and it was a huge trigger and enabled me to dig into an aspect of myself that I was totally unconscious of. It feels like an absolute gift, so thank you 🙏
I would also add that family relationships have been very strained in the past week or two, as I navigate through karma and work on breaking down the ego. It has been a test of my sovereignty but I have been able to stand in it and be who I really am. The sovereignty side of things is still a work in progress for me but I’m aware of where I go unconscious now and where I need to keep my attention.
Thanks again for all your support and reflections, it is very much appreciated.
Nikki 🙏💕
Peace with the situation
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Hey Open,
I think I'm at peace with the situations for the moment. I get plenty of personal space for my evolution and reacquaintance with my soul. I'm not being aware of much obligation or should's here. But i also figured there might be inner teenager and child identities to unravel for which they could play a part? Its getting clear to me they are not really ready to change the conditioned identities. Its also kind of sad that I dont feel really connected to the people I'm living close with. But i don't really share that heartfelt connection to anybody for that matter. Sometimes when there is arguments and general disharmony with in the family i kinda feels disoriented. After putting the comment yesterday i recognized there might be some spiritual identities that are at play here which cannot accept the expectations ,blame and the imperfections. But today morning i was much more at peace with my imperfections and theirs.
Vimal
Accepting and all fine?
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Hi Vimal,
It sounds like you're accepting the situation and that it's all fine for you - right?
Open 
Connection with family
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I wasn't gonna reply to this either :D but lets see what turns out of it. I feel really disconnected from my family nowadays. It feels like we are living in two different worlds altogether. In past not long before i have felt to be a bridge by asking questions but not now. I think i'm more connected to some of my friends or even my students( i don't like the word!) and of course Openhand. I think when there's less connection there's also less chance for inquiry around it. SO my inquiry has been around other things. I also find the conversation that takes place less meaningful and doesn't feel the need to engage at all. What remains is only a co-dependent one that's sort of accepted which doesn't pose much problem. We also doesn't come to terms in many things.
out of the blue
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Thank you for the questions Open. I find it hard in places to take up space.
It's how he was killed I can't find acceptance with. It was an experience that made me question everything and a lot of things cleared but my mind struggles to come to terms with the brutality of it. My heart feels heavy before it happened this place felt magical to me but after it became tiring and testing on all levels. I experienced it happening out of the blue and that really rocked my world. What I feel is missing is finding a way to hold it that accepts it fully as it happened without buying into the fear
Dealing with the impact of sudden loss
In reply to out of the blue by Bianca
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Hi B,
Yes I can understand the shock and brutality of losing someone suddenly and unexpectedly like that. 
I invite you to contemplate this...
Whenever I have a challenge with something like that in the 3D, which we might call the microcosym, I always look to expand out into the bigger picture - the macrocosym. Because we are like avatars, playing out the bigger cosmic story but in a small, human way.
If you look out into the cosmos, creation and destruction are happening moment by moment on a vast scale - whole star systems can explode in an instant. For creation to happen at all, there has to be destruction. They are two sides of the same coin - destruction is construction when it contains the seeds of the future.
I guess, that because you frequently visit this site, you accept a number of things...
- at your core, you are the One, just like all of us
- that you reincarnate through countless lifetimes on a journey of self-realisation
- that all is interconnected and moving together
- that everything happens for a reason
And so what happened to your friend happened for a reason. Likewise, you manifested the event in your life to show you these various things. Principally, you are not human. You are a cosmic being having a human experience. Life can literally change on a dime, in an instant. Therefore we need to unwind and unravel identity with the microcosym, with the smallness. Enjoy it all yes, be engaged yes, but where you contract and tighten down around these kinds of events, work into the contraction, so as to unwind it and expand out as your cosmic self.
I felt to draw your attention to this article I reposted today which might help...
Evolved Insight into Processing the Grief of Loss
Much love and support
Open
Exploring the pain of when a close friend passes on
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Hi B,
I feel for you that your friend passed on. Perhaps you would care to elaborate on exactly how the pain manifests. Where do you feel it? What do you feel is missing - what can't you accept?
Much love and support
Open
Finding companionship in the flow itself
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Hi Charlie, great that you're prepared to be so open and honest - it's always a sure way to advancement 
You said...
My relationships now are ones of truth and understanding. I'm not going to say that I'm not lonely sometimes for companionship. Not sure if this is a human trait or will it transcend with me when the time comes?
I think it is very much a human trait to be lonely - that companionship is generally a part of it. I'm not saying that's not a good thing, but of course any need for it does create identity, which means you can be victimised by relationships. I would say look for companionship within the flow itself, and let that manifest all around you. If you put time and attention into this, it grows. Loneliness disappears - that's what heppened for me back down the path (a pigeon has just started cooing outside my window!).
Open
Sharing on human relating
In reply to Finding companionship in the flow itself by Open
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Hope you don't mind me jumping in here with a questoin about your reply Open.
My question is regarding this..."I think it is very much a human trait to be lonely - that companionship is generally a part of it. I'm not saying that's not a good thing, but of course any need for it does create identity, which means you can be victimised by relationships." What do you mean by 'human'? Is human the part of the experience identified with the experience of the physical/emotional/mental?
I ask because I have been experiencing an ache that feels like it's in my actual bones, but it is also connected to physical insecurity and the feeling of seeking soothing from others. Feels almost like I am a baby yearning for physical touch/holding/swaddling. Maybe that's what it is...a physical yearning for connection. I find physical connection, like even a hug, very grounding. In the absence of this phsyical earthly connection, there is this achy empty feeling in the bones. I wonder how this is connected to expectations in the human experience...those bone feelings being met by another...I am working with it...there is abandonment and isolation, some panic and fear as well...I feel some resistance to not having the standard human relating experience...yet, having it and not having it both feel empty.
<3 Jen
Experiencing the genetic karma of Modern Humanity?
In reply to Sharing on human relating by .Wren
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Hi Jen - no problems with you jumping in - always good to see you! 
What do I mean by 'human'? I believe and observe that it's so easy to identify with this human experience, in all the things that we do - it can bring your cosmic self down into the smallness. Don't get me wrong, there are many great things about the human experience, but to me, I see it also as quite contracted and compacted down, with various interdependencies. The invitation is to expand out of that, be your cosmic self, but also having a human experience (through mind, emotional and physical bodies). However, not to be limited or defined just by the human experience.
It's interesting/fascinating that you are experiencing "an ache in your bones" connected to physical insecurity and the "seeking of soothing" from others. Also you said, and this is the really interesting part.... "Feels almost like I am a baby yearning for physical touch/holding/swaddling".
My sense is you're experiencing genetic karma, relating back to how Homo Sapiens was truly birthed here during the intervention. That it was very sterile, clinical, and without the support of biological parents. This was during the time of Atlantis, where the intervention really took root. It would be worth connecting with Marije on this, whose in Africa, which is where this all took place - I do believe you're having related experiences.
Keep feeling through, keep unwinding, keep unravelling.
Much love
Open
Infants and anxiety
In reply to Experiencing the genetic karma of Modern Humanity? by Open
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Thank you for the clarification of what you mean by 'human'... That all makes sense to me.
With regard to the feelings I am experiencing of being a baby yearning for holding/swaddling... I am now also waking up with anxiety, plagued by a lot of feelings of guilt around breastfeeding, vaccination, circumcisions...i will connect with Marije - we have shared a lot of parallels within our felt experience. Thank you for the reflection of possibilities.
Love, Jen
Thanks for your fearless jumping, Jen
In reply to Sharing on human relating by .Wren
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Thanks for your fearless jumping. Last night a friend drop by and for what ever reason for sometime now he has been trying to convince me or himself that his life has changed the way I have. Yet his true self reveals every time he is around. I never buy into what he says or does and when he finishes, he ask what I think. I tell him my truth and he gets angry then calms down and says, that is why I like you. My point is that he hugs me and it just fells wrong, like his intent is to rob me of my light you could say, my spirit. The world I have let go of. Yet this world has people like you and Open and all the other wonderful Openhanders here that when I think of hugging you guys it makes me warm inside, safe in this human form. Open is this not the feeling of the cosmic self in human form and why we come back to here? Is this not why we are experiencing the here and now? Is this not how we get back to the source? Jen you opened up another can of worms.LOL
much love
Charlie
I too
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I too wasn't going to reply to this. I've let go of all the people that weren't serving me but I find it hard to let new people into my life, a friend passed on a few years ago and I'm still caught up in the pain. I'm in a financial codependent relationship with my parents. I really needed that help but now I feel ready to move on
One sided
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Hi Open, I wasn't going to respond to this, but here I am. As I look back into this life here, things seem to be more clear to me. How my life interacted with others has been for the most part what I could do or would do for other, even knowing what the consequences may be was how I fit into the relationships. Like a saying that comes to mind " Ask Mikey, he will do anything". The more I sit with this the more I realized how much of a lone wolf I was. With a feeling to lead the pack just to feel part of it. when there was no need for me, I would be left aside until the next time. I was a Bad Ass with compassion. I guess this aloud me to fit into 2 groups, the tough guys and the shy guys, and I was good at both. A bully of bullies. The ability to be fearless at the same time, the shield to help the innocent. It sounds like I'm trying to toot my own horn but this is not the case here it is just how I see it.
You know for the most part when looking at how I expressed myself in the past was looked at as having attitude and said that I just wanted attention from my elders, siblings and peers. Now I see how wrong their were. I am ok with how people see or feel about me now and understand that this is their truth.
I have had 2 long term relationships. One that I tried to control. This is the one that my kids are from. That lasted from 1979 to 1988 with a lot of shipwrecks along the way. I stayed near with the feeling of loneliness, wanting the relationship to magically repair it self. After 6 years I gave up and moved away.
The second relationship all I wanted to do was what she wanted. That lasted 20 years with a lot of changing in myself. I feel that this was all for the right reasons. Throughout my life I've always sensed the things I do had a feeling of rightness.
I thought I knew what love is but the definition keeps changing. I guess I mean it keeps growing like the feeling of rightness.
My relationships now are ones of truth and understanding. I'm not going to say that I'm not lonely sometimes for companionship. Not sure if this is a human trait or will it transcend with me when the time comes?
Much Love
Charlie
How are you finding your relationships shifting?
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I felt to repost this article today - relationships can be such a powerful crucible for evolutionary growth - but it's essential to establish natural boundaries that honour your truth in them, so there's maximum freedom of expression and space for evolutionary change. How are you finding your relationships shifting? Feel free to explore here with me...
In order to advance, we must be here now!
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Yes - it's a wonderful paradox isn't it...
In order to advance, we must be totally here now!
Thanks for sharing
Open *OK*
Dancing the Dance
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A pattern which I have recently noticed in myself is being somewhat within; distracted by a desire to evolve and process, not bringing full attention or expression to the moment. And also some recent unravelling around the subtleties of controlling and shaping reality.
What blessings: These unravellings have left me freer and lighter to embrace conscious connection within my relationships. To feel the fluency of the flow, deeper and truer, quality not quantity. Unfolding has become beautiful, easy.
So as each soul enters the stage with me, I choose to dance the dance, honouring the fluency, the spaces... the connections...
to embrace, lift and hold, to pirouette, look into eyes and soul, with passion and fun, bringing everything that i am.
and i see so much more... feel so much more... bring so much more... receive so much more...
Feeling deep gratitude for each relationship, for each co-created moment and for this article xxx
Great timing :)
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It is interesting how I might 'know' these things, but it is not until truly living them, confronting and dealing with all the stuff, that I really get it. It has to fall into my consciousness, has to be sealed by the fire burning all the bullshit.
And it is amazing how it is when communicating and 'relating' with others that all the lies ad the truths can be so well, so undeniably felt.
I have a long way to go, but I feel excited about it now :) I'm gonna find me!! Wow hhhh
timely
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Absolutely!
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Ye Trinity
Have so much to learn-and the desire to get to the Truth.
Love Breda
Relationship problems!
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Just realized that the relationship that I have the most difficulty with is with God-Source!
A lot more work to be done.
What does this mean?
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God, it has happened again.I feel so frustrated.
An hour of work and lost it by pressing the wrong key.
I could strangle someone, namely the one mentioned in the first word.
Obviously this stuff was just meant for me!
Aligning with Divine will, is Challenging; and I say this with grinding teeth.
Hi, Thank you. Yeah i
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Hi,
Thank you. Yeah i understand what you mean now.
Vaso
Degrees of expectation
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Parent-Child relationship
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Thank you for this article.
In relation to the parent-child relationship, i understand what you are saying and it makes sense. The expectations that we have for our parents. However isn't it normal to have some expectations about your parents. That they will take care of you for example (when you are younger)?
The other day we were talking about the fact that i got angry with my mam for a situation. Yeah i did got angry because i have some expectations and i recognize now that i shouldnt have. And i also got angry because i can't control the situation. im working on it.
But from the perspective of my brother who is younger and he is aware of many things, isnt it normal for him to expect that his parents would be more responsible?
Thanks
Vaso
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